Here's to you

I know I should love this time of year. And I do, for many reasons:

1.) I definitely prefer green grass to brown and the vibrant colors of new flowers on the side of the road to the ugly old snow of late winter.

2.) Asparagus, which happens to be my favorite vegetable, is in season.

3.) I get to celebrate my birthday AND mother's day...yay, me!

4.) My kids get to run off their crazy energy outside as opposed to practically spontaneously combusting inside.

But while this time of year brings many things sweet, there is a bitter side. This past weekend marked 3 years since my grandpa passed away.

There are very few people in my life who have really had in impact on who I am--the whole of who I am--past, present, and future. My grandpa was one of those people. He gave me the BEST childhood memories, from elaborate Easter egg hunts (which I participated in right up until he died) to simple Sunday walks, complete with ghost stories and long rides way up high on his shoulders. Though he was a little "rough around the edges" with his always present 5 o'clock shadow, tattooed forearm, and tendency to speak his mind a little too freely, he was an angel to me. He had a heart like no one I've met, and he showed me Jesus in ways no "put together" Christian ever has. And that is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. The moment he died, some balloons I had given him came loose and danced into the sky--even in his passing, he showed us the importance of being playful and free.

I miss him, and I think I always will. I wish he could meet my daughter, and I wish he could see Tate now as a little boy. I wish they could participate in his Easter egg hunts and hear his stories and soak in all the unconditional, crazy love he had to give. But my hope is that they will see some of those things through me, and that through me Val Kapustka's legacy will live on.

So anyway, I wrote a song in honor of my grandpa, or I guess in honor of anyone who has ever shown us the raw, untethered, crazy love of Jesus. They are the people who make life sweet.

I didn't know how else to share this song except through a video of me singing it, and unfortunately I seem to be having issues uploading it. So for now you get just the lyrics, until I can figure out what's going on, OR if it's possible just to upload an audio track or something. I hate to give you just the lyrics because I feel like they don't come alive until they have a melody, but alas, this is all I can do for now.

Anyway, here's to you, Grandpa. Love you, miss you, thank you.



I never saw what you saw.
To you, I could do no wrong.
With you there were no assumptions,
just raw, untethered, crazy love.

You never asked the questions--
never pushed me over any edge.
You made me believe I could thrive
and just maybe even fly.

Here's to you,
The backdrop to all my good dreams,
The reason I grew up laughing,
The push to keep on dancing
like a balloon into the sky.
You're how I know I'll be alright,
and He'll watch me through the night.
I'm alright.

You never knew what I saw.
To me, you could do no wrong.
You showed me a God I actually liked,
and just maybe He's really alive.

Here's to you,
The backdrop to all my good dreams,
The reason I grew up laughing,
The push to keep on dancing
like a balloon into the sky.
You're how I know I'll be alright,
and He'll watch me through the night.
I'm alright.